terça-feira, setembro 28, 2004

Pipoca Welcomes Six Living Children to the World

This morning nine puppies born, adding to the enourmous street-dog population of Brazil. The population then dropped again by three, since only six survived.
Mab the Mouse thought at first that the offspring were hers, but it has been confirmed that despite their appearance the little runts are of canine descendence.
Though we love our Pipoca, we are hoping that her children inherit their looks and brains from their father, whoever that might be.

Welcome to the Family, Chulé!

We, “the fam” here at the homestead, would like to welcome our newest member, Chulé. Myself, W., Nader the Spider, Beberibe the Lizard, and Babs the Bat are happy to have you! Mab the Mouse would rather you weren't here, she being the reason you were acquired.
So far Chulé is doing very well, despite her over-zealous assistant caretaker (pictured here). He is determined that she get enough beauty-rest, and is therefore always attempting to “put her to bed,” which she does not appreciate. In fact, Chulé does not feel the need to rest at all, and spends the nights chewing on her owner.

This is a Baby Dog

sábado, setembro 25, 2004

Peace In Colombia

For any people out there who may have visited Colombia at some point in your life, here is a link to give you a chance to be an advocate for peace in Colombia. Also, a little interview with Ricardo Esquivia, an amazing man I had the priviledge of meeting with recently.

sexta-feira, setembro 24, 2004

The National Hero You Never Learned About at Pinkham

And today, an entry under the category of 'Things You Would Not Likely See in the United States' -- The Fidel Castro Elementary School, complete with a monument to our bearded friend himself (can you find it?).

quinta-feira, setembro 23, 2004

And the winner SO FAR is...

Blucks! Congratulations, you are the closest guesser so far. It is the surface of a fruit. Now, for an extra bonus prize (of something even smaller and cheaper) what fruit is it? Yes, you have all seen this fruit although you may have been very young. And no, the snail is not part of the fruit.

quarta-feira, setembro 22, 2004

What Is This?

Welcome back to my masses of fans, who, because of my lack of a phone line in recent weeks have had to somehow get by without me.

Well, to make you feel better I am sending out this invitation to participate in a guessing contest. Can you guess what this photograph is of?

If no one guesses it right, the prize is a free cruise to Fiji, and a new motorcycle. If someone guesses it, the prize is something very small and cheap. So why wait?!? Send in your answers and pack your bags for Fiji.

quinta-feira, setembro 09, 2004

And now, a word from our hair sponsor

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quarta-feira, setembro 08, 2004

Small Field and Garden Dreams

Here at my house, due to our low Plant Survival Index, we like to keep our Field and Garden dreams small and our expectations low. We call them "Plant Dreams". This plant's name is "Luiza", named by my assistant gardener (pictured here). The gardeners expression demonstrates how we try not to get too attached too soon. This is a big shout out to Luiza, from her proud family. Congratulations on having survived 4 days in our Field and Garden Dream! She was purchased on Saturday, September 4. So far she is looking only slightly less perky than when she arrived "home."

Comments from Conrad, courtesy of Francisco Brennand

This is another piece of art by the same sculptor as the bust of the buttocks (see previous posting). I was attracted to this particular piece because it reminded me of something my sister would say if she found herself in this museum. Perhaps the ten small figures are representations of Bluckster Herself upon encountering Brennand's sculptures.

Turning the other Cheek

Sorry to all of my more modest fans out there (that would be you, blucks). This is by the same sculptor as the tatu featered in the personal adds. He mostly prefers body parts or abstractions of body parts but occasionally sculpts a suprisingly innocuous animal of some sort. Come to Brazil and you can enjoy a whole museum of his art!

terça-feira, setembro 07, 2004

Turtle Personal Ad for the Day

GET TO KNOW ME!!!!I am a young ravishing turtle, either male or female (my owner is not sure). I am seeking a turtle of the opposite sex (whichever that is) who likes eating lettuce, hanging out underneath the refrigerator, and pooping in the middle of the floor.

Inanimate Object Personals Ad for the Day

This is a picture of me. I am an attractive ceramic armadillo interested in friendship and long walks on the beach. Posted by Hello

Leisure Time on the Hill of Goodness

A few months ago, I began my work in a neighborhood called the Hill of Goodness. Anxious to get to know the community, I researched the options for spending my leisure time on the Hill.
There is no bowling alley or mini-golf course on the Hill, probably because no one could afford to use it if there were. The free-time activities, as far as I have been able to discern, include church services, drinking, dancing, sleeping with someone else's wife or girlfriend, and shooting people who have been sleeping with your wife or girlfriend.

Having little interest in sleeping with anyone's wife or shooting people, I have chosen the “Church Track”. There is no lack of churches on the Hill, just as there is no lack of bars. I chose the Methodist Church, a small community-minded church who believe in “Integral Evangelism”(caring for both the spiritual and physical needs of people).

Each church on the Hill convenes for services and meetings about 80 times a week. Observing the activities available there, I have deduced that this is because of the limited options for members of the “Church Track”. If there were services only on Sunday, that would leave the rest of the week for the members to either do nothing at all, or drink and shoot people. Most people on the Hill are unemployed, so they have an unbearable amount of leisure time to begin with. Hence, the 80 church services.

I enjoy the services and meetings, though since every event is attended by the same six people I frequently become confused as to which one I am participating in. Sometimes, forgetting whether we are in the Young People's Group, the Outreach Committee Meeting, the Worship Team Meeting, or the Sunday School Teacher's Meeting, I have to tap someone on the shoulder and ask, “What meeting are we in?”

Luckily, the other 5 people are usually more on top of things than I am, and will clue me in: “This is the church Leadership Meeting.” Aah, yes, of course.

And with the music blaring from the bars nearly drowning out our prayer (the lyrics usually are something to the effect of “The Love of a Prostitute is Very Good” or “I Am Cheating on You Baby”), we continue with our service on the Hill of Goodness.

segunda-feira, setembro 06, 2004

I Wish I Could Marry Wendell Berry

Really, I'm not the sort of person who should be a blogger. To start with, my internet connection costs me by the minute. And I make $62 a month.

But it seems my brother has done a sneaky thing and has started a blog that only "real bloggers" can comment on. I'm fairly certain he has done this because he knows that I am not one to with hold commenting on anything. So I have been forced by my own nature to become an oficial blogger.

So what will I share with you today, my gentle readers?

I have chosen an excerpt from a cheerful poem by my main man, Wendell Berry. As my title suggests, I indeed wish I could marry Wendell Berry. There are a few things that have come between us, however, which I tell you: a) he is already married to Tanya, b) he is old enough to be my grandfather, and c) I have never met him. So without further sighing over unrequited love, I give you my favorite excerpts from The Morning's News:

..."The serpent is gentle, compared to man...

... The morning's news drives sleep out of the head at night...

...I look at my son, whose eyes are like a young god's,
they are so open to the world.
I look at my sloping fields now turning
green with the young grass of April. What must I do
to go free? I think I must put on
a deathlier knowledge, and prepare to die
rather than enter into the design of man's hate.